So while reading Pamela’s story about a steering wheel that kills people (that’s how I read it, at least) I remembered: I’m a little bit superstitious.
This come from a number of places within my psyche:
1) I have an over active imagination
2) I’m a little paranoid
3) I think I have the ability to plan for anything: even knife wielding maniacs or insane clown possees
4) I just imagined you laughing at that last one. Did you?
I can’t stand when David says things like “Wow, rush hour traffic is light today.” It’s inevitable that we then round the corner to a traffic stand-still. And then I’m angry: he jinxed us.
Similarly, I try not to even think certain things. I will never swear on my mother’s life. I don’t say “If Pepsi goes out of business…”.
Most importantly, I will never, ever say “Candyman, Candyman…” You know what? I don’t even want to finish typing that. I mean, that dude has a scary voice. In addition to the whole slaughtering people thing that is.
Now, I think I married well for the most part. My husband is sweet and a good protector. I think that in the event of a zombie apocalypse that David would fend for our lives quite well. He could beat off zombies with the best of them. Provided he followed my strategy.
However, I think there’s also the possibility that he’d be the guy who kicks off the whole zombie apocalypse. He thinks my superstitions are unfounded. He may be the type of guy who thinks reading from a book of demonic spells would be “funny”. I mean, what could happen?
That’s not a good sign.
What could happen? Has he never seen a horror movie?
Because of this, I worry about David jinxing us or reading from evil spell books. The person that does that always has some horrible fate – and is sometimes the first one cursed. And folks? If David were the first of the damned? We’d all be in trouble.
Big, big trouble.
I was recently telling David that he would make a horrible zombie. As in, horrible for me. He thinks too much like a velociraptor and is too intent on achieving his goal for the rest of us to really have a fighting chance.
Especially since we don’t know which kind of ghoul he’ll actually turn into if he reads some evil spell. Let’s face it, those spells are usually in a foreign language which is how they seem so harmless. I mean, who’s afraid of Latin? No one!
So we cannot act like boy scouts and prepare for the imminent….ahem, possible….well, theoretical ghoul apocalypse. Being prepared is useless since we don’t know what we might be up against.
What we can do? Is keep all demonic spell books away from David.