My diet

When I was younger, I was under the misconception that I could lose 10 lbs. in 3 days.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I though that that was probably a lie. But surely I could lose at least 6 lbs in 3 days. Then I could continue to fit into my pants.

The diet was strict. My sister, mother and I all ventured into it together.

For dinner, every night for three days we had a dinner that included cantaloupe, half a cup of non-fat ice cream and a 1 1/4 cup of beets.

I’d never had beets before.

And I will never have them again.

I can’t tell you the vileness of these beets. I’m sure there were other ways to prepare them. And those ways might be tasty. But I won’t know because I won’t try. I will never be able to get over the stench of them as I tried to swallow pieces of them whole.

If I didn’t chew, the taste couldn’t seep into my mouth as much. So I swallowed chunks whole. Which is awesome for your digestion, let me tell you.

When the diet was over, I had lost 3 lbs and almost all of my marbles.

I never tried another fad diet.

Because the only thing worse than eating beets might just be drinking apple cider vinegar.