I met her at a bar.
We chatted a bit while waiting for other people.
She was funny and intelligent and pretty. Like, way prettier than me. You got the impression she had everything together.
We laughed together over some joke.
Then she leaned in close and said the words that shocked me.
“I think you’re interesting.”
Who the hell says that? That is not a thing you say in normal conversation. You continue talking to a person because they’re interesting. They interest is implied by the continuation of the conversation.
Who says that?
I looked her over again.
Red shoes. Red lipstick. Red coat. Dazzling smile.
My soul shivered.
She asked me a question: “If you could do anything in life for your job, what would it be?”
Having had a drink or two, I answered in a long, rambling fashion. All the time that my mouth yammered, my brain whirred and whizzed.
She said I was interesting. She wanted to know about my career goals. Red shoes, red lipstick, red coat.
It couldn’t be….
Oh, it was.
“I’m a Mary Kay affiliate,” she beamed. “I advise people on how to maximize their sales and I’m looking to add someone to my team. I think you’d be great!”
She was trying to suck me into a pyramid scheme.
Now, I understand that there are some people who do very well through Mary Kay and its equivalents. But I also understand that I am not cut out for that shit. I am not a sales oriented creature and rallies of any kind have always made me uneasy.
Ultimately, I don’t like being recruited into a group. Especially a group I am forced to recruit others into. That just smacks of being forced to hang out with people I don’t care for.
She began to soft sell me, which I was very impressed by. I hate the hard sell and envy those who can quietly convince you of things. She had a very gentle touch. But it also made me wary. I was susceptible to this. She was slowly making me believe things about myself which were not true. She was even leading me to believe that I liked other people.
Folks? I do not like other people.
Individuals, yes. I like individuals. Many people I even love. There are persons I like. But I don’t like “other people”.
It’s a fine line, for sure.
But one I’ve learned not to cross or question.
So I had to put all my shields up. Even though I’d had a few drinks I had to be polite without agreeing to do anything.
But, oh, was it tempting. She said I was smart! She said I was kind! She said I’d make lots of money because I was so smart and kind!
I had to keep reminding myself: she also said I was interesting.
And, she was kind of leaning in like she was hitting on me. Even though she said she was waiting for her husband. If she had to be pseudo-hitting on me like a sorority girl trying to talk a frat guy into buying her a free drink, I didn’t think any good could come of this.
So I nodded. Sipped my drink. Continued to look for her husband.
Ultimately, I took her card. I am such a wuss when it comes to saying to people outright in real life, “Thanks, but I just don’t like other people.”
So, instead I took her card.
I did not call her.
Even though I wanted the put together, wealthy, people person dream she was trying to sell me to be true, I did not call her. Because I know in my heart that’s not who I am.
I mention this because yesterday I saw a woman who looked suspiciously like her.
And she was still eyeing me.
I feel like I dodged a bullet.
What kind of bullet, I’m not precisely sure.
But I’m glad I’m not trying to pick up other business women in bars to increase my own business.
Somehow, that just seems to be the wrong reason to pick women up in bars.