Mullet Over

So I took my punkin’ headed self back to the salon today to see what could be done with the disaster that had been wrought upon me. When the owner of the salon came to greet me in the lobby, her eyes got all wide and she said, “Oh Lord, someone here did that to […]

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The Amazing Race

The last time I ran in downtown New York I was trying to avoid falling glass and concrete. Tripping over dropped purses and briefcases, my gait was anything but smooth.  My breath erratic, harsh, and shallow.  Believe it or not, I’d forgotten about all of that until this past Tuesday when Marian the Librarian and […]

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In Which I Rant at God and Grease the Skids to Hell

Dear God, We have come to a cross-roads in our relationship. It has been building for some time. I try to believe but time and time again you let me down. We don’t talk much anymore I know, but I grew weary of one-sided conversations. I know that occasionally I’ll instant message you while I’m […]

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Waiting for Shakespeare

Drama, drama, drama…but enough about my personal life, I must tell you about Shakespeare in the Park. The end of the semester was beyond hectic and oh my dear readers, I have some gems from my students’ final papers to share with you but I will save their humiliation for another day for this post […]

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Candy Land

I am tired. Dog-butt tired. I have no idea what that means but it’s a phrase I’ve used almost all my life. Maybe when Dingo Girl is dragging her ass across the floor it doesn’t mean that she needs her anal glands expressed (AGAIN!), it’s just that her butt is tired. Too tired to lift […]

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Old Dog Teaches New Tricks

Dingo Girl and I are at Mom’s this week. There are a lot of things on the agenda like showing her how to use her ATM card (we accomplished the internet and Gmail on my last trip), updating her cell phone plan, and most importantly, getting her to have some fun. I’m trying to jump […]

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If Miles Were Measured in Donuts

I haven’t written much about my marathon training lately because most of it consists of things like, “Oh my holy hell, it’s hot y’all!” and “Someone talk me out of this madness!” But overall it’s going well. I have about seventeen weeks until the marathon. Yes, seventeen. I had to make a wee change in […]

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Furry Frenzy

I had planned to write a witty post this morning about how I quit my job and the how trying to find someone to replace me has my former coworkers in a frenzy. I was going to gloat about how Mrs. Garrett runs late to meetings and curses the day I walked out the door. […]

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The Last Supper

I don’t know how it happened, one minute I was emailing my friend Wheaties about our upcoming trip to Philly and the next I was committing myself to run a marathon with her in November. “With” should be translated to mean, we’ll both be running on the same continent. See, Wheaties has been a marathoner […]

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Gawk-her

I am not a celebrity gawker. The main reason being that in my fourteen years as a New Yorker, my brushes with the glitterati have been limited to spotting that guy who played Paulie in the Rocky series. Yeah, I’m not even going to look up his real name on IMDB because really, would you […]

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