Because You’re Mine

Since I have recently been invited to and/or stood up in eleventy-one weddings, I can say this with the utmost conviction: that party was fun. I’m not saying there was a conga line which I led, but I’m not saying there wasn’t. Also, some people got married or something. They cried. Which made me feel […]

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Call Me Garfield and Pass the Lasagna

Some days, I am the anti-Stuart Smalley. I am not good enough, smart enough and I am pretty damn sure that no one even considers liking me. They are avoiding me like a stinky fat kid in a cafeteria line. Either that or they are quietly plotting my demise. This typically strikes on Monday mornings. […]

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Karma, it’s What’s for Breakfast

Remember, how I wasn’t sure if the asshat on the Metra was me? Oh, my friends, I’m pretty sure now that it is. I am the asshat. David and I, like most people, are creatures of habit. So we pretty much sit in the same place on the train every day. This particular spot is […]

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Nice Day for a White Wedding

I am going to need some serious waterproof mascara because I am sure this is going to make me sob big, fat, goopy tears all over my Disney-princess bridesmaid dress. In my every day life, I don’t wear mascara because I’m prone to crying. But I’m smart enough to know that my sister is not […]

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Secrets, Secrets Are No Fun

Except when they are awesome. I can tell you at least three other bloggers who normally keep their children’s name a secret but who have revealed them to me. I keep this sacred trust. I do not reveal their names to others. I rarely use them with the moms themselves. Because I want to show […]

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I’m Sometimes Inappropriate and Often Quite Odd

I have been having a severe case of The Writer’s Blockages. It’s where my brain is filled with a million and four great post ideas until I sit down at the computer. Then I can only get the post half up. It’s like I have erectile dysfunction. Oh, my husband is just going to LOVE […]

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5 Tips for guessing the lotto numbers

We seek advice from experts in the field, read studies and researches conducted for large samples of people, everywhere we look for answers to a question that grows more and more people: “How can I win the big prize in the Mega Sena lottery?” the win determines from week to week more and more players […]

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High on My “Don’t Trust” List

I met her at a bar. We chatted a bit while waiting for other people. She was funny and intelligent and pretty. Like, way prettier than me. You got the impression she had everything together. We laughed together over some joke. Then she leaned in close and said the words that shocked me. “I think […]

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My diet

When I was younger, I was under the misconception that I could lose 10 lbs. in 3 days. Well, that’s not entirely true. I though that that was probably a lie. But surely I could lose at least 6 lbs in 3 days. Then I could continue to fit into my pants. The diet was […]

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