Candy Land

I am tired. Dog-butt tired. I have no idea what that means but it’s a phrase I’ve used almost all my life. Maybe when Dingo Girl is dragging her ass across the floor it doesn’t mean that she needs her anal glands expressed (AGAIN!), it’s just that her butt is tired. Too tired to lift […]

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Old Dog Teaches New Tricks

Dingo Girl and I are at Mom’s this week. There are a lot of things on the agenda like showing her how to use her ATM card (we accomplished the internet and Gmail on my last trip), updating her cell phone plan, and most importantly, getting her to have some fun. I’m trying to jump […]

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If Miles Were Measured in Donuts

I haven’t written much about my marathon training lately because most of it consists of things like, “Oh my holy hell, it’s hot y’all!” and “Someone talk me out of this madness!” But overall it’s going well. I have about seventeen weeks until the marathon. Yes, seventeen. I had to make a wee change in […]

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Furry Frenzy

I had planned to write a witty post this morning about how I quit my job and the how trying to find someone to replace me has my former coworkers in a frenzy. I was going to gloat about how Mrs. Garrett runs late to meetings and curses the day I walked out the door. […]

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The Last Supper

I don’t know how it happened, one minute I was emailing my friend Wheaties about our upcoming trip to Philly and the next I was committing myself to run a marathon with her in November. “With” should be translated to mean, we’ll both be running on the same continent. See, Wheaties has been a marathoner […]

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Gawk-her

I am not a celebrity gawker. The main reason being that in my fourteen years as a New Yorker, my brushes with the glitterati have been limited to spotting that guy who played Paulie in the Rocky series. Yeah, I’m not even going to look up his real name on IMDB because really, would you […]

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Beer, It Isn’t Just for Breakfast Anymore

Oh my holy hell, y’all, I have a stock tip for you.  Ibuprofen.  Yes, sales of ibuprofen are going to go through the roof within the next few months.  When I’m lying on the apartment floor after a run, Mr. Dingo thinks I’m practicing my visualization — you know, “seeing” myself completing the marathon, imagining […]

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When Bad Fashion Attacks

I so wish you could see what I see when I am out for my run. A few days ago I talked about the lady running in high heeled sneakers and lest you think I’m lying, I will take my camera with me on one of my “off” days when I’m walking. I did not […]

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Delete, Backspace, Repeat

When I return my students’ papers to them today via email, most of them will quickly scroll to the bottom of the screen to find their grade. What they won’t find are the comments and exclamations of disbelief that ricocheted around my apartment this week. They will see my suggestions on how to improve grammar, […]

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Ow! Ow! Ow!

You would think that, knowing about this yoga class for the past week, I would have made sure I had my yoga clothes ready. Was I wrong to assume that since I haven’t been to a yoga class since Paris Hilton was a virgin, I would have some clean, folded, and well-fitting yoga clothes just […]

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